Gender Pronouns

I treat gender like I treat my spirituality: it’s largely irrelevant to my way of life, so I largely ignore it. Some people call me "gender queer" because I feel that way, but even then I feel like I have to adhere to some "third way" gender with pronouns like "zir" and "ko". No offense to people who go by "zir" and "go", but that’s not my thing. So I made up my own pronouns:

Subject pronoun ("he" "she" "it")

  • Zither

Object pronoun ("him" "her" "it")

  • Xylophone

Possessive pronoun ("his" "her" "its")

  • Bongo

Some examples:

  • "Zither stepped on bongo toes."
  • "Zither bought xylophone some roses."
  • "She zithered xylophone with bongo tatas." PS: Zither is now a verb.

Happy BP Oil spill anniversary!


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